Desperate times, oh this dark dark day,

My favorites, you monsters, have taken away.

No warning, no word to warn a coming plight,

You cowards just took it and slipped into the night.

For strong fabric at the seams I pray,

The reserves to stay whole beyond their day.

Woe is me, they begin to unravel now!

Woe is me, replace them? Oh how?

The search begins…some high and some low,

Some seem fine, but they will not let me grow.

Bunching, bagging, binding and scratching,

Slipping, sliding, sagging and batching.

The frustration and chaffing now run deep,

And in my search I have found none I can keep.

And then before all hope can fade and fall,

I decided to give in my cash and call.

Hallelujah, I can hear the birds sing!

Hallelujah, let the church bells ring!

A spring day after a the long winter gives yield.

A cool glass of water after a hot day in the field.

First ray of light at dawn of a cold stormy night,

Your own warm bed after a ten hour flight.

These are the rivals that can barely even compare,

To my newly discovered and glorious underwear!

(Yes…Yes I did just write a poem about having to find a new brand/style of underwear. Thank you Tommy John Underwear!)