For nearly six years, Benjamin had been my little companion on commutes into and from work, everyday…Matthew for more than four years.  I would always drop them off and pick them up from daycare everyday, which accounted for 30 minutes to an hour a day where we would talk about our days, joke and laugh.  (We have had some strange conversations in the past during these rides.) Even when Ben started school last year, it was less than a quarter mile from Matthew’s daycare, so I continued to drop him off.

This year, Ben started in a new school that is the opposite direction of where I had to go, so he started taking the bus.  I hadn’t thought anything about it before, but that first day of heading up to daycare without him really broke my heart.  Even though I had Matt with me, it really made me sad for the rest of the day.  The memories of Ben holding Matthew’s hand during the drive when he was a baby mixed together with their laughter in my head.  I miss them together in the back of my car.

Even Matthew feels it, also.  He often complains that he misses Ben during the car rides and you can see it in his eyes.  However, it is so wonderful to see the joy in their faces when they are reunited at home.  I think it has caused their rough-housing to get more rough and their play times louder, but it is just so sweet to see their love for each other.

Less then a year from now, I’ll be along completely on my commute to work while they take the bus…I’m not sure I will be able to handle that.  Watching them grow up is awesome…but it sucks, as well.