I use to enjoy travelling for work. Okay, I didn’t enjoy the actual travelling, but I liked going to different places. I think it might have been the change of pace from a normal week or maybe it was just the time alone, but once I would get checked into my hotel, I would feel a sense of relief.
It’s a different story now, since Benjamin and then Matthew came along. I fill with a sense of dread in the days before and they simply occupy my mind the entire time I am away.
It’s funny the things that trigger the feelings, also. For example, watching parents struggle through the airport with a ton of bags and a little boy that needs to check everything out. Or, the bowl of apples at the front desk of the hotel and knowing the discussion that would cause with Ben. Or waking up in the morning, disoriented because you don’t hear them giggling or talking.
Last week was particularly difficult to travel because I missed Matthews fourth birthday. Although his party was scheduled for when I was back, I found myself constantly thinking about him all day, to the point that I nearly broke down during dinner. The funny part is that before I left, it was Matthew that was consoling me. When I told him that I was sorry that I was going to miss his birthday, he told me, “It’s okay…my party is another day.” I’ll do everything I can to not miss another.
Andrea travels a lot more than I do and for a lot longer. I am going to have to travel again, and even though it sucks, I can accept it. We both know that the travel is necessary to our careers and that even though theses trips can seem to last forever, they are short, short periods of time in the grand scheme of things. And Andrea and I know that these trips, in the big picture, will allow us to provide for our boys better in the future. I think these are the things that get us through these trips.
On my way out to California, I adjust my watch to the time zone I was going to. Obviously, on my way back, I reversed the process. As the plane left Chicago, for Allentown, I adjusted my watch back to the time zone my family was in and it was such a sense of relief and I just got so emotional. It is amazing how much you can miss some people.